my 1st betrayal

I knew the true meaning of betrayal at the age of 22 not knowing I had already engaged in the act at the age of 19 quite ironic you might say. I have intentionally and unknowingly betrayed people who trusted me and you will be surprised to find i have a long list of them surprisingly many of my victims are men and i will blog bout them trust me all of them. So i will start by telling you bout my first betrayal today.

Sometime ago while i was growing up as an innocent beautiful girl who didn’t know much bout the wicked world we live in, I got admission into university and went about my own thing i didn’t even have a clue of the course i was studying urban and regional planning one of those days when you just got into school and said "I will change my course later", anyway i had my fair share of falling in and out of crushes and infatuations that seemed like love while in college those feeling were so strong i was so sure i was in love with every guy my heart skipped for. lol stupid me!

Well getting accommodation those days was like looking for a pin in the sand. I made friends with two other ladies during registration but men they were lousy and so unethical but what could i do had to blend otherwise my other option was to sleep outside on a mat. nah i love my body too much for mosquitoes so kemi and tosin were my friends for bout a month all because of accommodation anyways they got a flat outside campus and we had five rooms we ended up letting two of the rooms to two other guys Tola and Gbenga who had squatters now that’s when my problems started.

I wouldn’t want to bore you with information bout how much i hated the course i was studying, how technical it was, how i had no clue bout all the technical drawing jargons the lectures bored me with, how i hated town planning modules and etc, how i failed my test honourably with distinction and how i vowed to leave after the first semester was over and how my father said" nah just wait i will sort u out and get u to another department to study accountancy through my childhood prof friend" blah blah! How everyone seemed weird to me how i just generally hated the school and all the wahala it had to offer. My solace was in my room and i deprived much pleasure making it my hide out and the only sane place in the university. Eventually i met a friend of mine we went to college together and she needed a place to stay she was cool and i had no problems sharing my room with her i could do with an old mate, pls don’t get me wrong am a friendly person but i didn’t like my course and i felt i was in a mini mental institution being focused to take drugs to get well!

well every now and then i would avoid social functions or church meetings etc and all i wanted to do was be in my room and dwell in self pity for my unfortunates dilemma and listen to music that would steer my emotions and make me cry then i would look in the mirror while still crying to see the funny faces i was making and say it will soon be all over making funny crying faces men i was sick. lol.

One day one of the guys in the flat had a small get together and wanted me to assist with serving his miserable guest which i honourably declined, he sent his squatter to me to persuade me to help out need i say i was meeting this guy for the first time, men when he entered my room my heart skipped for a sec this guy was cute, short though, he was the finest thing i had seen in a while since my arrival at this village called a university. Men I was tripping and tripping was i.

Anyway he introduced himself to me as Duro and i did likewise and that’s how we got talking he didn’t have to persuade me to help out anymore i was going to regardless and i did like this guy at first sight no doubt and i wasn’t hiding it. he was the kind of guy your mum would be proud of. After the whole party we got talking and I got to know he was studying electrical engineering and he bored me with the details of it told him the course i was studying and he was quite interested saying his cousin was studying the same and how he use to come by my dept every now and then. Ladies and gentlemen that’s how the relationship started btw duro and i, i loved him to bits he was my friend and i didn’t find it difficult confiding in him and letting him in on minute details of my life.

one of the girls in the apartment liked him kemi was heed over heels mad bout him and stopped at nothing to get his attention cooking and all that crab but am not bragging, she and i weren’t on the same level she wasn’t competition and i knew duro didn’t fancy her in any was she was lousy her makeup was crap a good cook but so? She jus wasn’t a babe she belonged to the raze boys of the school don’t mean to demean her. Anyway she lost the battle and i just watched as she made a fool of herself.

Duro was a club guy a ladies man, he thot i was the most beautiful girl he had come in contact with maybe i was!

We were so into each other and i saw him everyday we did everything together sex was out of it i was still a virgin and had this idea of remaining so until my wedding day and i sort of felt once we had sex he would dump me so i was doing the best i knew being a teaser as i was in college he liked it though.

Christmas came we spent it together everyone knew us together he introduced me to his family as his babe his mum liked me, his dad was something else his siblings adored me he had only one sister who was married and had her reservations bout me she made side comments like "this our girlfriend is too pretty oh! Hope she doesn’t run" i ignored her and assumed she didn’t like me and couldn’t be bothered. Duro and i shared a lot of moments together and he treated me with so much respect and love he worshipped and i did likewise, my sis liked him, my mum and dad never saw him they thot i was too young for a relationship.

Every now and then duro and i would be alone cuddling fondling and kissing never went the extra mile to any other thing i was good at holding him down there teasing him and sometimes putting his manhood near my genitals just for him to feel my wetness and never allowing him to penetrate we did a lot for almost 8months.

one faithful day he lost control and while i was carried away with him fondling my breast and feeling the warmth of his body and the scent of his perfume he entered me, it was sharp pain down my groin area my brain became alert and i became weak the ecstasy i felt all disappeared i felt even more sharp pain with each move he made and tried endlessly to push him off but he only did when he reached his orgasm. Then he realised what he had done the look on my face was "what have you done?" he became sober and seemed sorry i cried like i had never before in my entire life i was hurt and felt so violated, the blood on the sheet was a witness of what had just occurred. After a few minutes i asked him to leave i wanted to lick my wounds and dwell in self pity but then he refused to he could feel my pains and wept bitterly what a man! Then from nowhere he said "i will marry you i promise, i will never leave you, i will never betray you ok” i looked up to look at his wet face and said “prove it". Now what am bout to say is crazy but i read this up in one of the Steven kings novels bout covenant taking and being a Christian who had vowed no two men would see my nakedness i felt ok lets take a blood covenant suck my blood and u will suck mine and if any of us leaves each other we will not know peace blah blah, i was shocked when duro agreed to it, poor thing. He must have been mad and foolish because i definitely was then or maybe just desperate not to get jilted! so he swore a blade was near by i cut my thumb and his and sucked a bit of his blood and he did likewise and we sealed it with prayers all in the name of Jesus how crippy!

Anyway that chapter ended that day and we became closer going to church, fellowship and all i became more into him and started acting like a wife!

One day i suggested he got me an engagement ring, he thought it was a good idea and told his sister who thought it was a crap idea and felt what the rush what are you both on about she felt. Anyway that was the end of the ring matter o! No ring foolish me!

Well the school had a close down due to cult activities and all so we all had to go home and that was the beginning of a new era for me. He came visiting every now and then and i did likewise and our love continued or so i thought, we had sex just once after that incident and that was like 2months. After which we vowed never again to he became a Christian and stopped touching me and i for some reasons wanted him to continue that became a battle for us i wanted sex he didn’t he was a church worker now and was no longer a club boy he became more Godly. He changed in a better way but i was too young to appreciate it we weren’t going clubbing anymore or going out he we was still a dresser and still use to turn heads but something was different.

During the break from school one day i was taking a stroll down my street when i came across a course mate of mine Timmy his dead now, he was going to see a friend of his down the estate and promised to check on me on his way back. Anyway Timmy came back with a friend of his Axel whose native name was usman he was from the north tall, dark skinned, slim guy. Men the guy was fine very fine he had this mean, rough look about him i had a glimpse of him twice only because he looked nice and his name was funny to me so when Timmy introduced us the first question i asked was the meaning of his name and he said "man of peace" man of peace indeed!

After 2hrs of talking bout school, the strike and movies the visit came to an end they had to take their leave. However i did notice Axel stealing glances at me once or twice no doubt he fancied me so i wasn’t surprised when he asked to lend my Sidney Sheldon collection and promised to return it three days after. Axel was an undergrad in university of legon, Ghana studying medicine with the hope of being a medical doctor.

He came back two days after to return the books and i was thrilled he was such a fast reader but after asking him certain questions i knew he hadn’t read it at all the guy was just playing me, anyway that’s how our friendship started and i started getting fond of him and spending more evenings taking a walk together, driving round the estate together blah blah.

My poor Duro started irritating me gradually i started snapping at him when he came visiting complaining bout everything he did one day he kissed me and it felt like he had just eaten egg i was so irritated i didn’t know when i said gosh was a breathe that hurt him cause if not anything duro was a clean guy, i stopped visiting him and did everything not to make him come visiting. During one of his family gathering i made mention of axel and talked bout him for over 30mins uninterrupted Duro jus listened and when i had finished asked f i had feelings for the guy, i started throwing tantrums and started the you don’t trust me shit, and walked out on him. That day i knew i didn’t like him that much anymore axel was the man now so literally just ignored duro and paid more attention to axel who was so into me as well he on the other hand was more exposed than me and sometimes played too fast for me.

Duro came visiting one day and talked bout us getting more serious with our relationship blah blah. As he sat there talking i knew i had to end the relationship. So i started by stating how i felt we were no longer compatible and so on and so forth he just sat there shocked and amazed it took him a while to gather himself together finally he asked why, what, how could it be, didn’t i love him anymore? What happened to the covenant, (oh please that was an error) the promise, the vow? he was sweating, in my air-conditioned living room and i just sat there thinking "oh please spare me" i felt guilty but honestly not as much as i ought to have been after all the guy had done absolutely nothing wrong but i couldn’t care less. After much i love you pls think bout it, don’t let this happen to us, this cant be real, look how far we've come and all we have been through, all the sacrifices i made for us and all from him he finally asked the ultimate question " is this bout Axel? Its bout him right? Answer me," you should have seen the venom in his eyes when he asked. I just cleared my throat and answered "duro it has nothing to do with this guy i don’t even fancy him, he is just a friend besides he isn’t my kind of guy and he his a Muslim i cant date a Muslim and the fact is that i still love you but i don’t think this will work after all am the one who got deflowered why would i want to be with another man knowing fully well they are evil, all these is hard for me as well and i don’t intend to date anyone for a while, if we are meant to be trust me we will be don’t make it hard for than it already is duro please" Duro just nodded with listening sounds and finally he stood up and said "he saw it coming and couldn’t believe i was throwing a good thing away( yeah right!) how disappointed he was and how he thought i would eventually get hurt and wished me all the best, i must say before now i had been accusing him of having an affair with one of his church members i knew it wasn’t true but i needed to justify my own actions, that seemed right to me as at the time.

So after the break up with duro i didn’t give myself time to heal, what was there to heal from after all i was the one calling it off. I simply just moved over to axel who felt i should have broken up with duro a while back.

Axel and i started a relationship and all and had already gotten sexually involved so i was so into him he wanted me all the time and he seemed so made for me.

During one of the festive seasons i went out with him, his siblings and friends to the beach while having a good time and chatting away a gorgeous girl came around to where i was and started chatting me up and asked who i came with said i was with axel she knew him as usman from the response she gave me, she then asked if i was a doctor and i said nah, well she said she was studying at the same school as usman and was bored of the gathering and actually came to meet me cause she felt i looked a bit like usmans younger sister who she saw once in a picture, we got chatting and then she started relaying how close she was to the family blah blah and how she wasn’t used to the Hausa culture blah blah, she was boring me and i just wanted to find my man and zoom off somehow i switched off from the conversation am so good at that i just wasn’t listening anymore though it appeared i was, i mean what’s my business with all this jargons i thought to myself while she was still blabbing away something she said caught my attention she asked if i had a boyfriend? In my head i was like "how daft can you get off course am here with him" then before i could say a word she said "o well i guess you do! Every girl does don’t they? How did he ask you out? How long have you guys been dating? oh i remember the first time usman asked me to be his girlfriend i was so shy and gave him a tough time it took him 18months to finally have my yes to be his girlfriend, i didn’t think it would last for this long babe 2years its been a long road trust me and a memorable one at that.I just sat there listening and completely frozen! My heart stopped pumping blood to my arteries and all i wanted to do was faint, to be continued...............................................